What a beautiful day! I am in a great mood, and since my great mood should be taken advantage of, i decided to head out and do a little bit of looking around since my motivational state has been heightened as of late. So a little trip to the music store, some powerman 5000 blaring down the highway and i am golden! I decided to make a quick run to Wal mart (i know...i know), to get a big rubbermaid bin for all my music gear...Come on, where else are you going to get one that size for $10? So i park my car and head in...just outside the front doors, there is some dude being tackled by 4 guys on the ground, as they put handcuffs on him...quite obviously he was shoplifting, and quite obviously the guys were security, just in plain clothes most likely since they are floor walkers. So they pick the guy up, and as they are bringing him back into the store, some fat slob of a woman says "excuse me, who are you? You don't even identify yourself?"
one of the guys said "we're security ma'am, don't worry about it"....
at this point it was plain to me that this bitch was the rosie o'donnel type of woman: Fat, loud, disgusting and with an overwhelming need to voice her opinion, no matter what. So she says "umm, i AM worrying about it, that man did nothing wrong"...to which the security guy said "He was shoplifting and running out of the store. It's our job to detain him"...
to which the swine of the earth said "Well, you didn't identify yourself...you think you can just tackle people like that? Think you're tough? I have a right to voice my concern"
Now, at this point i will say that it seemed like the security guys were a little fuckin overboard. They all looked to be in their early to mid 20s and seemed a bit too quick on the trigger. Odds are their job is pretty boring so this was a chance to get out there and show the world...rather the WAL what they were made of. They probably are either in school to be cops, failed out of school to be cops or just want to be a cop, so they took it all a little bit too far. BUT, they WERE doing their job regardless, so i am on their side.
So the dude looks at her and says "Ma'am you will be charged with obstructing an arrest if you don't let us do our job"...This fat bitch is like "Excuse me!? I am a Citizen of...canada...and...i have uh...the right....umm...to know what is going on here...what did that boy do?" finally the security guy turns around and says "Listen lady, you do NOT have the right to know what is going on, and unless you're that kid's lawyer or mother, get the fuck out of my face before i remove you too"....
I started laughing my ass off out loud and the lady looked at me in complete disgust, like i looked like a carrot or something. She started talking to random people about how crazy this was, and everyone was like..."umm...you really have no reason to be like this...they're doing their job". Finally she was defeated and waddled away back to her steak-scented car to drown her loss in hot buttered bacon-flavoured popcorn.
Moral of the story? Unless you actually have something to be complaining about, Shut the hell up and let people do their jobs. it's not your business, so don't make it your business. and not being a jelly filled cunt doesn't hurt.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
oh...religion.
"Praying: How to do nothing and still believe you've helped"
That quote will forever be one of my favourites. Why? Because it's so true. Religion is a very sore spot for me. In my opinion it's the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard/seen....I understand that some people simply need to feel that there is a higher power controlling everything, and overlooking everything...i get that need. But really? Break down your thoughts into reality. Take them, and look at them objectively. They're insane.
Look at it this way. Someone comes up to you and in conversation, they tell you that they believe that a spirit is always watching and protecting them. They say they talk to this spirit every night, and believe this thing will solve all of the world's illness and issues just by having faith in it. They go to a big house every weekend with a bunch of other people, and talk, sing and give gifts to this spirit...this spirit tells them they can't do certain things, but they CAN do certain other things.....think about it. it sounds fucking crazy. But as soon as the person says it with religious intent, they're all of a sudden faithful instead of fucking insane.
It makes no sense. And in my opinion (which i am ALLOWED to have, share and write about, contrary to catholic belief) is that religion is for the weakest of people, who are far too insecure to realize that they have NO control of life. It's for the people who need to have directions. It's for the followers, not the leaders. Why can you not just live your life knowing that it's YOURS. Not controlled by an all knowing, loving, powerful spirit that allegedly existed thousands of years ago. Someone told me in a rant about one of my facebook updates that "knowing the man that walked on water is the only hope society has of recovering"...
ummmm, NO. first of all, no one can walk on water. I don't give a shit what you believe or think, it can't be done....unless the water was frozen (which science has shown could be entirely possible...yeah, science...that thing based on FACTS...) Or he was wearing boat shoes. Maybe they just omitted the boat shoes from the bible.
oh yeah, the bible. Really? REALLY?! another person told me that jesus DID exist, and if i read the bible, i would know that. Well, if that's the theory, then I am starting my quest for Frodo, and Gandalf, because they MUST be real too, since a book was written about them!
Listen. Believe whatever the fuck you want to believe. I respect and admire anyone for sticking to their guns. But keep in mind that your beliefs offend people too. And keep in mind when you're sitting in a room full of people all worshipping one character, chanting the same things, doing the same actions, living by a certain set of rules, and talking to the ceiling...well you just look insane.
That quote will forever be one of my favourites. Why? Because it's so true. Religion is a very sore spot for me. In my opinion it's the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard/seen....I understand that some people simply need to feel that there is a higher power controlling everything, and overlooking everything...i get that need. But really? Break down your thoughts into reality. Take them, and look at them objectively. They're insane.
Look at it this way. Someone comes up to you and in conversation, they tell you that they believe that a spirit is always watching and protecting them. They say they talk to this spirit every night, and believe this thing will solve all of the world's illness and issues just by having faith in it. They go to a big house every weekend with a bunch of other people, and talk, sing and give gifts to this spirit...this spirit tells them they can't do certain things, but they CAN do certain other things.....think about it. it sounds fucking crazy. But as soon as the person says it with religious intent, they're all of a sudden faithful instead of fucking insane.
It makes no sense. And in my opinion (which i am ALLOWED to have, share and write about, contrary to catholic belief) is that religion is for the weakest of people, who are far too insecure to realize that they have NO control of life. It's for the people who need to have directions. It's for the followers, not the leaders. Why can you not just live your life knowing that it's YOURS. Not controlled by an all knowing, loving, powerful spirit that allegedly existed thousands of years ago. Someone told me in a rant about one of my facebook updates that "knowing the man that walked on water is the only hope society has of recovering"...
ummmm, NO. first of all, no one can walk on water. I don't give a shit what you believe or think, it can't be done....unless the water was frozen (which science has shown could be entirely possible...yeah, science...that thing based on FACTS...) Or he was wearing boat shoes. Maybe they just omitted the boat shoes from the bible.
oh yeah, the bible. Really? REALLY?! another person told me that jesus DID exist, and if i read the bible, i would know that. Well, if that's the theory, then I am starting my quest for Frodo, and Gandalf, because they MUST be real too, since a book was written about them!
Listen. Believe whatever the fuck you want to believe. I respect and admire anyone for sticking to their guns. But keep in mind that your beliefs offend people too. And keep in mind when you're sitting in a room full of people all worshipping one character, chanting the same things, doing the same actions, living by a certain set of rules, and talking to the ceiling...well you just look insane.
Early morning ramblings III
I'm far from perfect. I've never made that claim.
But ask me a question...direction...
and you'll see me.
I'm pulling my punches and dropping my guard.
And all the bites on my tongue have
jaded me from the world.
The scars run deep and can't be seen,
but the laughter echoes still...shrill...
i'd kill for the chance to dance with
fists instead of kisses.
So wrap me up in your stories
and hang me by your noose.
An obscene disaster,
Even at my worst, i'm better than you.
I'm a ghost, hidden away in imagination.
My vacation is a space within myself.
And i've lived inside a shadow,
i made it my home, with plenty of room
to grow...to know...myself before i put it
up for sale.
My ears are on fire, and won't be put out;
You've created a monster, and buried yourself.
But ask me a question...direction...
and you'll see me.
I'm pulling my punches and dropping my guard.
And all the bites on my tongue have
jaded me from the world.
The scars run deep and can't be seen,
but the laughter echoes still...shrill...
i'd kill for the chance to dance with
fists instead of kisses.
So wrap me up in your stories
and hang me by your noose.
An obscene disaster,
Even at my worst, i'm better than you.
I'm a ghost, hidden away in imagination.
My vacation is a space within myself.
And i've lived inside a shadow,
i made it my home, with plenty of room
to grow...to know...myself before i put it
up for sale.
My ears are on fire, and won't be put out;
You've created a monster, and buried yourself.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
oh the life of a bartender...
ok...so i've been thinking about starting yet another new blog about the shit i hear while working behind the bar. I get everything from people talking about emotional problems to breakups, to downright crazy shit. Tonight, i had a very interesting little blurb from some insanely weird dude...i had to share it.
"Ok...i just had to get this out...there's this girl. i've liked her since 95...i moved here from toronto because i like her...one day...we were at her house...you'll like this...she told me...well not by words...but by a look...well not really by a look but by look....that for the size of my body, my hands are large. So she took off her pants and laid in the bed. You'll like this...her buttocks perfectly fit my hands....so i massaged it....and it was awesome...and because her pants were off in the bed, i caught a glimpse...just a quick look....i saw a lip... that's my story."
All i have to say to that is wow.
I just wanted to share this with you. Try keeping a straight face after that one.
"Ok...i just had to get this out...there's this girl. i've liked her since 95...i moved here from toronto because i like her...one day...we were at her house...you'll like this...she told me...well not by words...but by a look...well not really by a look but by look....that for the size of my body, my hands are large. So she took off her pants and laid in the bed. You'll like this...her buttocks perfectly fit my hands....so i massaged it....and it was awesome...and because her pants were off in the bed, i caught a glimpse...just a quick look....i saw a lip... that's my story."
All i have to say to that is wow.
I just wanted to share this with you. Try keeping a straight face after that one.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Observations from the day
I am sitting in starbucks right now. At this very moment there is a dude in here who is talking so loud i can't even concentrate. In fact he is SO distracting, i actually had to stop doing homework just to blog about the shit he is talking about. He's like that dude that knows WAY too much about absolutely NOTHING, and shares it with the world. Here is just a taste of what he is saying: (keep in mind he is saying this at a near yelling volume)
"A month ago this would have been considered a heat wave. Now it's FREEZING!! "
"Jif peanut butter. $1.97 at Giant tiger. It's the best. They only have the smooth though. My sister in law is bringing me 2 giant containers. They're like a litre and a half and you get 2 for 6 bucks in the states. it's full of protein...FULLLL of protein"
"I'm a purist. I like jam, i like peanut butter. I like chocolate, i like peanut butter...but i never mix them. I never eat them together, and never on the same day"
"i went to pick up my brother to bring him to school. i waited for an hour, turns out he got a ride. It was bad though,because i brought him a jar of real honey, and now i have a jar of real honey in my car. I like real honey better than the other stuff, it just tastes so much better"
"I am trying to make zucchini relish, and i can never get the taste just right. There is a company in the states called Willy's, they make the best relish, but i could never get the taste right. then one day i looked up the ingredients, and i was like "Tumeric! That's the taste i am missing!!"
"I was driving down ouelette the other day, and my brother said oh wow, look what they've done to that building. I said i can't eat there. He said why not? I said because i am a purist. It used to be Berks, now it's peppers...i just can't eat somewhere that used to be a jewelery store."
"The only time i eat bananas is at the casino. They have that banana caramel crepe. It's the only time i eat bananas"
"that reminds me, i forgot to feed my fish today"
So that's basically just a bit and i was typing as fast as i could. This dude is not shutting up, and he's speaking to anyone that will listen. I just thought i should share that with everyone ;)
"A month ago this would have been considered a heat wave. Now it's FREEZING!! "
"Jif peanut butter. $1.97 at Giant tiger. It's the best. They only have the smooth though. My sister in law is bringing me 2 giant containers. They're like a litre and a half and you get 2 for 6 bucks in the states. it's full of protein...FULLLL of protein"
"I'm a purist. I like jam, i like peanut butter. I like chocolate, i like peanut butter...but i never mix them. I never eat them together, and never on the same day"
"i went to pick up my brother to bring him to school. i waited for an hour, turns out he got a ride. It was bad though,because i brought him a jar of real honey, and now i have a jar of real honey in my car. I like real honey better than the other stuff, it just tastes so much better"
"I am trying to make zucchini relish, and i can never get the taste just right. There is a company in the states called Willy's, they make the best relish, but i could never get the taste right. then one day i looked up the ingredients, and i was like "Tumeric! That's the taste i am missing!!"
"I was driving down ouelette the other day, and my brother said oh wow, look what they've done to that building. I said i can't eat there. He said why not? I said because i am a purist. It used to be Berks, now it's peppers...i just can't eat somewhere that used to be a jewelery store."
"The only time i eat bananas is at the casino. They have that banana caramel crepe. It's the only time i eat bananas"
"that reminds me, i forgot to feed my fish today"
So that's basically just a bit and i was typing as fast as i could. This dude is not shutting up, and he's speaking to anyone that will listen. I just thought i should share that with everyone ;)
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
gah.
Maybe it's me. Maybe for some reason i was born with a gene or a cell or a trait in my body that makes me so annoyed with people i want to slap them. I mean seriously fucking annoyed. And it's not like they're doing anything seriously crazy or assholish, they're just being what i would consider....useless.
Case in point, last night at work some guy who thought he was a fuckin baller kept ordering "CC 12 year" which is a higher premium than regular CC whiskey. No big deal...except he was ordering them as SHOTS. maybe to the regular person this wouldn't annoy them...but to me it's like...why the FUCK would you go to the trouble of paying extra and ordering a higher calibre of whiskey, if you're just doing it as a shot!? Like, not only is that pointless, but it's a proverbial slap in the face to the whiskey makers and people that actually enjoy it as a drink. You're literally going to have it hit your tastebuds for 2.5 seconds...just get regular CC if you INSIST on shooting whiskey...fuck that pisses me off. It's even worse when they ask for a chaser of pepsi...like, let me get this straight...you are ordering a higher premium whiskey, you're shooting it...and then you can't even be man enough to shoot it on its own, you have to CHASE it!? Bottom line these people just order it so they can fulfill some sort of void in their lives and act like they have some sort of class or culture for a moment.
Or how about people that ask for a beer. Just a beer. umm, sorry this isn't a fucking network sitcom where the dive bar only has a singluar brand of beer. You can't just walk in and ask for a beer and suddenly a plaid-shirted bartender slides one down the bar without asking you for a cent. You have to say the BRAND and TYPE of beer you would like. I am going to buy a case of the worst beer on the planet just for people that ask these things, and give it to them. So when they ask "what the hell is this" i can say " a beer, asshole".
Or how about the people that act as if you just shit in their shoes when you ask them for a credit card when they want to start a tab.... it's common practice dude. your credit card is my insurance in case your cheap drunk ass walks out without paying. You expect me to TRUST you? especially since these people are usually the people whose first words are "what's your cheapest drink?"...yeah, you seem trustworthy.
Or the people who order 3 or 4 drinks, then ask how much it is...then root around in their pockets for 20 minutes looking for money. Newsflash: pull out a 20, order your round and don't ask the price. Just take your change, leave a tip and be on your way. Asshole.
or...the people that wait in line for 4 minutes at ANY restaurant or coffee place, and when they get to the counter, they look at the menu, and have NO idea what they want...WHAT?! What the fuck were you doing for the last 4 minutes?! You mean to tell me you spent that entire time day dreaming about what life would be like if you had a full brain!?
should i go on!? I could. but i won't. I will leave it at that for the day.
I feel much better to tell the truth.
out.
Case in point, last night at work some guy who thought he was a fuckin baller kept ordering "CC 12 year" which is a higher premium than regular CC whiskey. No big deal...except he was ordering them as SHOTS. maybe to the regular person this wouldn't annoy them...but to me it's like...why the FUCK would you go to the trouble of paying extra and ordering a higher calibre of whiskey, if you're just doing it as a shot!? Like, not only is that pointless, but it's a proverbial slap in the face to the whiskey makers and people that actually enjoy it as a drink. You're literally going to have it hit your tastebuds for 2.5 seconds...just get regular CC if you INSIST on shooting whiskey...fuck that pisses me off. It's even worse when they ask for a chaser of pepsi...like, let me get this straight...you are ordering a higher premium whiskey, you're shooting it...and then you can't even be man enough to shoot it on its own, you have to CHASE it!? Bottom line these people just order it so they can fulfill some sort of void in their lives and act like they have some sort of class or culture for a moment.
Or how about people that ask for a beer. Just a beer. umm, sorry this isn't a fucking network sitcom where the dive bar only has a singluar brand of beer. You can't just walk in and ask for a beer and suddenly a plaid-shirted bartender slides one down the bar without asking you for a cent. You have to say the BRAND and TYPE of beer you would like. I am going to buy a case of the worst beer on the planet just for people that ask these things, and give it to them. So when they ask "what the hell is this" i can say " a beer, asshole".
Or how about the people that act as if you just shit in their shoes when you ask them for a credit card when they want to start a tab.... it's common practice dude. your credit card is my insurance in case your cheap drunk ass walks out without paying. You expect me to TRUST you? especially since these people are usually the people whose first words are "what's your cheapest drink?"...yeah, you seem trustworthy.
Or the people who order 3 or 4 drinks, then ask how much it is...then root around in their pockets for 20 minutes looking for money. Newsflash: pull out a 20, order your round and don't ask the price. Just take your change, leave a tip and be on your way. Asshole.
or...the people that wait in line for 4 minutes at ANY restaurant or coffee place, and when they get to the counter, they look at the menu, and have NO idea what they want...WHAT?! What the fuck were you doing for the last 4 minutes?! You mean to tell me you spent that entire time day dreaming about what life would be like if you had a full brain!?
should i go on!? I could. but i won't. I will leave it at that for the day.
I feel much better to tell the truth.
out.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
meant for more
Some of you may have felt this in your lives...some maybe haven't...but sometimes i just feel like I truly am meant for something more than what i am doing. I feel like the art i design can be better, the lyrics i write can be better, the music i make can be better, and all my ideas can be better. Sometimes it overwhelms me, and now is that time. I feel like my ideas are astounding and ground breaking...like i am designed for greatness...but when they hit the paper they never come out with the impact they need. I feel stuck, and have no idea how to move. I have so many ideas they make my head hurt, but i have no idea how to organize them or put them to use...
i feel like i was created for so much, yet i am not realizing this potential. I can only wonder when i will.
i feel like i was created for so much, yet i am not realizing this potential. I can only wonder when i will.
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