welcome home

Well...it's been a very VERY long time since my last blog here. I suppose i got busy with life...or overwhelmed, depending on how you look at it. Or maybe i just had nothing to write about. Who knows. I found myself completely flooded with new projects, and new ways to release my creativity. But yesterday i was asked to begin blogging again, on a personal level. So here I am.


I find myself enjoying my alone time much more than normal. Not for any specific reason, other than I love to just be alone with my thoughts. I spend my nights alone, listening to records or whatever new music i can get my hands on, but find myself not wanting to listen to anything that's loud and distracting. Sure i love mainstream rock, but in my personal space, I want something with feeling and emotion and take me somewhere i've never been. I love listening to Nick Drake on vinyl. A lot of people don't get it, or get him. That's because they're blind and deaf. his voice literally floats...the music is on the record, but his voice hovers just a few inches above the vinyl, hanging in the air like a ghost....like he's sitting right next to you, in that orange armchair he loved, strumming to himself, and you're along for the ride. I could sit for hours just listening. Over, and over again.


I find myself in the same rut I get into every winter...where my mind overflows with a million and one ideas, then i get depressed because it feels like i am standing still. It's a vicious cycle, but one that i eventually surface from. It's all so hard to explain. I think it has a lot to do with the winter. It's just so god damn depressing. I like cold weather, but inhumanly cold weather is just fucking unnecessary. I feel like I am completely detached and unfocused and unorganized. I hate it.


It feels as if the world has shit on me, all at once. Like a million little mishaps all happened at the same time, and i have fallen from the top of the world, to the very depths of the world. I know this is something i will rebound from, but the process of rebounding is emotionally and mentally exhausting. Hence the alone time to re-connect with myself.


like chasing a ghost.