So this post is going to be massive for sure, because a lot happened this weekend that i need to write about. So this is post one, covering the first half, and Part 2 will focus specifically on one event this weekend, but it's a doozy.
So, if you didn't know, this weekend was the Red Bull Air Race weekend. A much hyped-about event that draws in tourists and locals alike, to sit out on patios all day, drinking, eating, and watching the MANY sights to be seen, including live music on almost every street corner. I just happened to be one of the live acts this weekend, and I have to say it was a fantastic experience...for the most part.
See, i am a very energetic front man, and i have the ability to work a crowd well, using little things i have learned in my years of experience. I'm also a front man that is not afraid of a little bit of controversy here and there, since i think getting a group of people riled up and into the show is worth pissing of one or two people in the process...and what better way to do this, than on the Stanley Cup final game night, when the poor red wings lost the cup to the penguins..hahahah...
being a border city next to detroit, of COURSE we are bombarded with ridiculous red wing bullshit all the time. Whatever, it usually doesn't bother me too much, unless they make it to the stanley cup finals....magically, detroit becomes "Hockeytown", and all the closet fans come out for the first time of the season just because their bandwagon is calling. Oh well, i'm sure that happens with all the teams...so what better time to stoke the fire a bit, and get people a bit riled...because after all...people that love the wings, really love the wings...but people that HATE the wings, REAALLLLY hate the wings. So as i am on stage, the night has gotten dark, the penguins have won the cup, and all the wings fans are slowly taking off their face paint and capes, so i kicked a bit of salt in the wounds, by asking my crowd who the wings fans are, and applauding them for showing their faces in public, it was a very respectable thing...people laughed...i went on for a few seconds, and then kept playing. Later on in the night i did the same thing a few times, each time getting a bigger and louder response than the time before, and the crowd was very rapidly becoming a massive audience. It was fantastic.
As i am writing this, i realize that my red wings rants really have nothing to do with the MAIN reason i am writing this blog, but the reasons kind of blended into each other...as you will read below.
So at one point, later on in the night, i would say around 11:30 or so, i feel something hit my back pretty hard, like someone slapped my back, or a friend of mine was being rough, you know? I look around and see nothing...hmm...weird...no one i noticed, no one standing there waiting to get my attention, nothing...it wasn't until a song later that i noticed a smashed up hot dog on the stage at my feet, toppings scattered...i touched my back where i was hit, only to find...ketchup.
SOMEONE THREW A FUCKING HOT DOG AT MY BACK.
Yes. A hot dog. Now at first, i though that it was just a pissed off wings fan who didn't like my opinion...then i realized that i hadn't ranted about the wings in quite a while, so i don't know what the deal was. Regardless, i went on a rampage. Now, i would be a complete liar if i said that there was no alcohol in my system, so of course i'm sure that helped fuel the fire, but i didn't care at that time.
Seriously, who throws a hot dog? and second of all, who is a fucking COWARD enough to throw it at my back? Like, honestly, if you're going to perform an act of food violence on someone, you should at least have the balls to look them in the eye while you do it, or stand your ground so they know it was you. If you don't like me, or the way i am, or what i have to say, then that's fine, but at least have the fucking courage to let me know to my face...
So after i ranted a bit, i got off the stage, and a couple people told me they saw who did it. Curious as hell, i asked what they looked like. They told me it was a girl, short black hair, black rimmed glasses...striped shrt...they didn't have to say anymore until i knew EXACTLY WHO IT WAS. While i am on stage, sometimes, i see people around me, but don't fully register what's going on until later, because i am focusing on a million different things at once...but once they mentioned her description, it all fell into place...
FLASHBACK (i'll try to make it a fast one) - a few years ago, i worked for a small customs brokerage company, and for about the last year or so i worked there, a co worker developed a deep hatred for me. Why he had this hatred, i don't really know, but i DO know (per his own confession to a mutual friend) that it was rooted in the simple fact that i am driven, ambitious, hygenic, and just an all-around goal-driven person. Ok first of all, if that's a reason to hate me, you have severe deep-seeded issues. But this guy HATED me. Like seriously HATED me, and i couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him. After all, he was just this short, round, unattractive asshole who had a little boy haircut, hated life, and everything about it. The only things in life he liked were the things that also hated life, and his overly vocal points of view were saturated in despise for everyone and everything around him. He was a real piece of work, destined to live his life in squalor, going over his dayglo abortions record collection, and just getting fatter. BUT, this piece of shit also had a girlfriend. a girl who shared his outlook on life, and his bitter attitude, peppered with a little bit of "the world owes me something", and who also worked in the same office as us...at times she could be very attractive, nice and funny, but at other times, she was a complete bitch, jumping into the immature "let's talk behind justin's back" along with her boyfriend, and a few others who felt the need to make themselves feel bigger by ripping on someone they knew they could never touch. This girl was a thin indie-wannabe kid, wearing the throwback retro clothing and listening to the 5,6,7,8s while wearing about this attitude of my shit don't stink....I can only assume it's because she used to be a fucking fat piece of shit, and people tore her apart...so once she lost all the weight, she decided to be a bitch to the people around her...These two were a couple destined to be together forever, bonded by the glue of disdain for the world around them....
Flashforward...friday night, THEY WERE THERE. Still together, still looking like a fucked up couple from a twisted Tim Burton animated movie. Him, with his cool brown cut off cargo shorts and big black hoodie, which was obviously at least an XL since he looks much fatter and disgusting than i remember him, and her, a skinny pale twig of a girl, still with a bad dye job, and greasy hair...there they were, buying food at the BBQ. I recalled this, only after the fact, since i figured the past was the past. Who cares, right? I haven't seen or heard from them in years, so i didn't care, and i figured they wouldn't care either. I was wrong. They saw me, and instead of walking away and talking trash about me between the 2 of them...they decided to take the high road, throw a hot dog at my back, and then run away like the LITTLE FUCKING COWARDS THEY ARE.
Wow. i am impressed. I mean...it takes real maturity, class, respect and courage to throw a barbecued piece of processed meat at someone's back, simply because you don't like them...and even MORE courage to not have a single actual reason to not like them, and still throw the hot dog. I mean...there are a million things you could do to express your dislike for me. You could yell mean things, you could boo after a song, you could steal my tip jar, hell you could even buy a radio ad...but no, these two champions of cowardice decided to throw a fucking HOT DOG.
Well. i will have you know that despite the piece of battered meat on the stage below me, the show still went on. And guess what, people still loved us. People cheered. people gave us money. And they did the same thing the next night, and the night after that...so what did that hot dog really do, besides display your cowardice on a public level? Nothing.
So in the end, i would like to say that these 2 people, these immature, hot dog-throwing pieces of fucking shit literally are nothing but the bottom of the barrel. They are the bottom rung, scum of the city. They will forever live in their own little world, where nothing is good enough, and everything is shit, except for the things THEY think are good enough for them. They will talk about their love of 1994, kurt cobain, and argue about Donnie Darko, like they have hundreds of times before. They will constantly think they are better than everyone around them, and i will still laugh about it...Because i know that my life will keep getting better, and i will progressing and following my goals, and their life will just stay the same every day... they will stay in their jaded little minds....and i have to laugh, because i truly feel sorry for them. I truly do. I feel sad. I know that no matter what happens in life, theirs will never get better...they will wake up every day thinking that life sucks, and the world is horrible...i just wish i cared ENOUGH to actually do something about it.
But then i realize that i really don't have the time or the desire to donate to such worthless pieces of pathetic, cowardly shit.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
What a beautiful day today was. It was warm, almost hot...the sun was shining, the cool breeze blew in off the river every so often, and the sounds of motorcylces and speed boats could be heard in the distance. What a perfect afternoon. I worked quietly at the bar, getting tent cards prepared for The Red Bull Air races this weekend, and as I was sipping on my monster energy drink I overheard shouting coming from outside. I turned to look out the window, and i saw a group of what i initially thought were onlookers to a car accident. So I walked outside to see what was going on. It took all of 2 seconds for my brain to register that these were not onlookers to an accident, these were a group of our infamous city strikers.
Dressed as if they were making a trek to Wal-Mart on a Sunday morning, these strikers looked more like tourists than out of work City employees. I began to wonder...where were the CUPE navy blue t-shirts? where were the purple flags? Where were the picket signs and chanting? They were nowhere to be found. Here stood a group of picketers afraid to be picketers. But as I stood there, taking in the scene, I began to realize just how ridiculous the entire situation was.
Allow me to set the scene: A dump truck pulled in behind Pizza Pizza, and from what i could tell, it was a waste management service, obviously a private company. The strikers decided to block the truck in so he couldn't leave, and proceeded to make their "point". What point they were trying to make however, was really quite unclear. The driver was forced to exit his truck and have his wife come pick him up, since the group would not back down. But I saw no angry faces, no victorious war chants, no signs, nothing. What i DID see were a bunch of people milking their vacation and having a fun time doing it. All over these strikers' faces were smiles and laughter, obviously enjoying the chaos they were causing. They stood there, obviously led by 2 rather filthy looking men, one with a long beard and sunglasses, wearing camo cargo shorts and work boots, as if he was suiting up for some form of jungle warfare. The other, a bald man with sunglasses and sleeve tattoos, obviously the follower of the other man. They stood as if they had super powers and arrogantly chirped at anyone who had anything to say with their obvious display of power-tripping.
What exactly was the point they were trying to make? You don't have what you want, so you strike? Ok, fine, that's your right. But as you're soaking up your time off, there ARE other people who NEED to make a living. In today's economy, and with the pay cuts and layoffs happening, people are doing everything they can just to make ends meet. I guarantee the driver of the truck was not picking up the garbage as a means to disrupt your precious protests, but he most likely, oh i dunno, needed to pay his bills...or maybe eat....Yet the strikers feel that this person should not be able to make his own ends meet, since he's taking their work upon himself....wait...it's not like he's really TAKING their work away, since they're NOT DOING ANY WORK AT ALL.
All around the city, garbage is piled, grass is waist high, and we're supposed to just deal with it, since THEY are on STRIKE? how about no. No one should be afraid to cut a lawn or pick up some trash, for fear that a...gulp...CITY WORKER will come storming after them, throwing their garbage bags everywhere, threatening them. We've all seen the Youtube video of that Shrek-sized woman throwing a little girl's garbage bag around, saying "You want to do our job, then here's more garbage for you to pick up" (as quoted by the witness). I mean, seriously? That's wrong on so many levels. And i'm sorry, i do not care if CUPE says they don't believe it was one of their members, as they've never seen her before, that's bullshit. Of COURSE they're going to deny her affiliation with the union.
They say that's not what this is about. It's not a strike against the citizens, it's against the city, blah blah blah...yet as I stood there, watching the bearded man talk into his walkie talkie like some form of military leader, and overheard another member tell an outspoken civilian that "someone should bash your teeth in", it seemed as if these strikers were much more interested in being modern day pirates than getting the benefits they are apparently SOOOOOO desperate for.
Everywhere I looked, I saw plain-clothed strikers walking around, putting up flyers, and they all looked as if nothing was bothering them. They all had smiles, they were all laughing, some of them looked as if they genuinely had no cares in the world. To my left, i overheard someone say "oooh, we have some action ladies!" and turned to see a quartet of rather..ahem...hefty women out for a nice little stroll down the main strip, devouring bags of chips. They stood and shouted cheers of support to their fellow strikers, and they were returned with happy waves and smiles, as if the strikers were celebrities of some sort, or heroes who had just done some sort of admirable and amazing deed. No...they were standing outside of a Pizza Pizza, blocking in a truck who was simply trying to get rid of garbage.
Now i will be the first person to admit that i detest politics. I don't care to look into the fine print of it all, and i'm sure i am missing quite a bit of information. But when all the bullshit is stripped away, it comes down to complete foolishness, and selfishness, and people feeling sorry for themselves, and milking the system. I am sick to my stomach when i think about how childish, selfish and ridiculous this is. So let me get this straight...because YOU, the strikers, are fighting for your pension, and benefits 30 years from now, and god knows what else, people all across the city are expected to just sit in their own filth until you decide you've had enough of your vacation and agree to go back? What, are you six? You don't get your way so you have a tantrum, stomp your feet, raise your voice, cry, throw things, and be a complete asshole until mommy or daddy eventually give in, and give you what you want...way to go, you should all be very proud of yourselves. The rest of the city is trying to at least come up with a resolution to get rid of their garbage and keep their parks and riverfront clean, and you're stopping them!?
As the rest of us are still working our 40 hours, and trying our best to make ends meet, you're causing chaos and whining and crying because you want things for a generation of people that don't even fucking exist yet. Well, I really want the government to allow robot hookers to walk the streets in 2078, and mexican midgets to be able to marry donkeys but i'm not walking out on my job because of it.
Bottom line, get back to work. Suck it up, stop fucking whining, and deal with the fact that maybe, just maybe, things will change in 30 years, just like the rest of the world. You're no better than anyone else. Waitresses are still making minimum wage and getting their asses slapped, single mothers are still taking off their clothes and getting filthy money put into their G strings so their kid can go to school, and guess what, homeless people are still fucking homeless. Your life really isn't that bad, as much as you want the city to think it is.
I wish the city, or the mayor or whoever calls the shots in this politcal clusterfuck would just fire every last one of you. Why? because with all the layoffs and cutbacks, i'm pretty sure there are a LOT of people that would jump at the chance for work, and won't give a flying FUCK what happens 30 years from now. Then as you're sitting at home looking for work in the newspaper you'll realize just how good you actually had it, because....gasp!...there's no work here! Blast! Who woulda thunk it!?
In conclusion, i would actually prefer that no one attempts to clean up the garbage, and instead just let it pile up on our streets...that way when you self centered assholes actually get back to work, you can sift through the maggot infested mounds of filth and dirty diapers and garbage water, and wonder if it was all really worth it...and as the scorching july, or august or september sun beats down on you, I hope the hard working and down on their luck citizens of this city are sitting on their porches or front lawns and watching you pick up every last little piece. I hope they applaud you and give you a standing ovation, since you're all modern day heroes...in your own minds.
Dressed as if they were making a trek to Wal-Mart on a Sunday morning, these strikers looked more like tourists than out of work City employees. I began to wonder...where were the CUPE navy blue t-shirts? where were the purple flags? Where were the picket signs and chanting? They were nowhere to be found. Here stood a group of picketers afraid to be picketers. But as I stood there, taking in the scene, I began to realize just how ridiculous the entire situation was.
Allow me to set the scene: A dump truck pulled in behind Pizza Pizza, and from what i could tell, it was a waste management service, obviously a private company. The strikers decided to block the truck in so he couldn't leave, and proceeded to make their "point". What point they were trying to make however, was really quite unclear. The driver was forced to exit his truck and have his wife come pick him up, since the group would not back down. But I saw no angry faces, no victorious war chants, no signs, nothing. What i DID see were a bunch of people milking their vacation and having a fun time doing it. All over these strikers' faces were smiles and laughter, obviously enjoying the chaos they were causing. They stood there, obviously led by 2 rather filthy looking men, one with a long beard and sunglasses, wearing camo cargo shorts and work boots, as if he was suiting up for some form of jungle warfare. The other, a bald man with sunglasses and sleeve tattoos, obviously the follower of the other man. They stood as if they had super powers and arrogantly chirped at anyone who had anything to say with their obvious display of power-tripping.
What exactly was the point they were trying to make? You don't have what you want, so you strike? Ok, fine, that's your right. But as you're soaking up your time off, there ARE other people who NEED to make a living. In today's economy, and with the pay cuts and layoffs happening, people are doing everything they can just to make ends meet. I guarantee the driver of the truck was not picking up the garbage as a means to disrupt your precious protests, but he most likely, oh i dunno, needed to pay his bills...or maybe eat....Yet the strikers feel that this person should not be able to make his own ends meet, since he's taking their work upon himself....wait...it's not like he's really TAKING their work away, since they're NOT DOING ANY WORK AT ALL.
All around the city, garbage is piled, grass is waist high, and we're supposed to just deal with it, since THEY are on STRIKE? how about no. No one should be afraid to cut a lawn or pick up some trash, for fear that a...gulp...CITY WORKER will come storming after them, throwing their garbage bags everywhere, threatening them. We've all seen the Youtube video of that Shrek-sized woman throwing a little girl's garbage bag around, saying "You want to do our job, then here's more garbage for you to pick up" (as quoted by the witness). I mean, seriously? That's wrong on so many levels. And i'm sorry, i do not care if CUPE says they don't believe it was one of their members, as they've never seen her before, that's bullshit. Of COURSE they're going to deny her affiliation with the union.
They say that's not what this is about. It's not a strike against the citizens, it's against the city, blah blah blah...yet as I stood there, watching the bearded man talk into his walkie talkie like some form of military leader, and overheard another member tell an outspoken civilian that "someone should bash your teeth in", it seemed as if these strikers were much more interested in being modern day pirates than getting the benefits they are apparently SOOOOOO desperate for.
Everywhere I looked, I saw plain-clothed strikers walking around, putting up flyers, and they all looked as if nothing was bothering them. They all had smiles, they were all laughing, some of them looked as if they genuinely had no cares in the world. To my left, i overheard someone say "oooh, we have some action ladies!" and turned to see a quartet of rather..ahem...hefty women out for a nice little stroll down the main strip, devouring bags of chips. They stood and shouted cheers of support to their fellow strikers, and they were returned with happy waves and smiles, as if the strikers were celebrities of some sort, or heroes who had just done some sort of admirable and amazing deed. No...they were standing outside of a Pizza Pizza, blocking in a truck who was simply trying to get rid of garbage.
Now i will be the first person to admit that i detest politics. I don't care to look into the fine print of it all, and i'm sure i am missing quite a bit of information. But when all the bullshit is stripped away, it comes down to complete foolishness, and selfishness, and people feeling sorry for themselves, and milking the system. I am sick to my stomach when i think about how childish, selfish and ridiculous this is. So let me get this straight...because YOU, the strikers, are fighting for your pension, and benefits 30 years from now, and god knows what else, people all across the city are expected to just sit in their own filth until you decide you've had enough of your vacation and agree to go back? What, are you six? You don't get your way so you have a tantrum, stomp your feet, raise your voice, cry, throw things, and be a complete asshole until mommy or daddy eventually give in, and give you what you want...way to go, you should all be very proud of yourselves. The rest of the city is trying to at least come up with a resolution to get rid of their garbage and keep their parks and riverfront clean, and you're stopping them!?
As the rest of us are still working our 40 hours, and trying our best to make ends meet, you're causing chaos and whining and crying because you want things for a generation of people that don't even fucking exist yet. Well, I really want the government to allow robot hookers to walk the streets in 2078, and mexican midgets to be able to marry donkeys but i'm not walking out on my job because of it.
Bottom line, get back to work. Suck it up, stop fucking whining, and deal with the fact that maybe, just maybe, things will change in 30 years, just like the rest of the world. You're no better than anyone else. Waitresses are still making minimum wage and getting their asses slapped, single mothers are still taking off their clothes and getting filthy money put into their G strings so their kid can go to school, and guess what, homeless people are still fucking homeless. Your life really isn't that bad, as much as you want the city to think it is.
I wish the city, or the mayor or whoever calls the shots in this politcal clusterfuck would just fire every last one of you. Why? because with all the layoffs and cutbacks, i'm pretty sure there are a LOT of people that would jump at the chance for work, and won't give a flying FUCK what happens 30 years from now. Then as you're sitting at home looking for work in the newspaper you'll realize just how good you actually had it, because....gasp!...there's no work here! Blast! Who woulda thunk it!?
In conclusion, i would actually prefer that no one attempts to clean up the garbage, and instead just let it pile up on our streets...that way when you self centered assholes actually get back to work, you can sift through the maggot infested mounds of filth and dirty diapers and garbage water, and wonder if it was all really worth it...and as the scorching july, or august or september sun beats down on you, I hope the hard working and down on their luck citizens of this city are sitting on their porches or front lawns and watching you pick up every last little piece. I hope they applaud you and give you a standing ovation, since you're all modern day heroes...in your own minds.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Sexism.
I am officially sick and tired of hypocrisy when it comes to being sexist. I have, and always will be vocal about my feelings towards extreme feminists, and how hypocritical and backwards they, and their philosophies are. There are so many thoughts about this topic running through my head, i am having a hard time figuring out where to start...
Every day I come to work, and read my emails, and there's always at least one email containing a joke about a man, obviously sent by a woman. on some days there are many more than one email, all degrading to men in some way, as lighthearted as they may seem to be. Usually at the end of them, the email ends with something like this: "Forward this to any women you know who could use a good laugh, and any men you think are man enough to handle the truth!!". Which i can honestly say i find ridiculous. I know that if i were to sit here and send out riddles of emails containing degrading jokes about women, someone, if not many people would climb up my ass about it, because i'm being sexist. Yet, it's ok for women to do the same thing, and people think it's fine?
I will be the first to say that i am not like the stereotypical man. 90% of the bullshit in these emails don't even apply to me, yet i am bunched into the category of "Pig" because i am a man. It's bullshit, and i've had pretty much enough of it. For the most part, the days of the Alpha Male and the feeble female are pretty much overwith (unless you live in a third world country...or Alabama). It's not 1952 anymore, and a lot of things have changed. Is there still sexism? Absolutely. There always will be. Just like there will always be racism, predjudice, and there will always be that guy who looks like a girl, and you will spend hours just trying to figure out what the hell is going on with their hair.
I am a man, and i was raised in the 80s, 90s and 00s, and was raised in a household where my mom was strong and driven, and was more than equal with my father, working as much, making her own money, and being her own personality. Not once was it expected that she should be making the food or cleaning the house. She was not expected to do anything that was deemed "woman's work" by the generations before us, she simply did them on her own free will. So by a very young age, i learned that there really was no dividing line between men and women, other than their very obvious physical differences.
Yet, here we are, year 2009, and i am noticing more and more that there are these emails circling about men and their stupidity, and filthiness, and overall lack of humanity. Apparently us men are Stubborn, egotistical, self centered and bull headed beyond belief...wait...i think i just described...feminists...
See, my generation of men is fucked. Why? because for the most part, we were raised with the ideals that we should be providors, protectors and warriors for our women. We have been trained through years of television shows, movies, and have been taught by our own mothers and fathers that chivalry should still live on in our generation. We should stand up when a lady comes to the table. We should open any and every door possible and always offer our jacket even if it means we get frostbite. We should always offer to get the bill for dinner, have a light ready if they smoke, and always be clean shaven and proper...so here we are, an army of 20-something men, ready to don our shining armor and find our princess, only to be slain down by the mighty Feminism dragon....
See, feminists are on this kick where women are equal to men in EVERY aspect of life (which, scientifically can be disproven faster than it takes a pregnancy test to examine your piss), and they will be the first people to tell us men that all these acts of chivalry we think we're displaying with respect, are really just sexism in disguise!! WHAT!!? Apparently, if we hold open a door for a lady, we're IMPLYING that she is too weak to open it herself. If we attempt to pay for dinner, we're IMPLYING that they don't have enough money to pay for it themselves. If we walk them to the door after a date, we're either IMPLYING that they can't walk themselves to the door, or we're PIGS because we think we're going to bed with them.
It's ridiculous. Somewhere down the line, all these classic romantic and classy things a gentleman is supposed to do for a lady have become huge downfalls? According to feminists they are. Now, of course i am speaking in generalities here. For the most part, any woman i have encountered, even complete strangers, have been gracious if i have gotten a door for them, etc....i am talking about the select few (and by few, i mean millions) of women who think they literally ARE equal to men in every way.
I have news for you ladies, YOU'RE NOT EQUAL TO MEN IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. and guess what? MEN AREN'T EQUAL TO WOMEN EITHER, you fucking morons. We're TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT GENDERS. It's not even sane to think that we're all equal in every way. Not even all men are equal to other men for fuck's sakes....pull your heads out of your wannabe penises, and listen up!
on a mental and intelligence level, yes, we are equal! we all have human brains capable of many things. Does this mean that all women can do everything men can do? NO. but this also means that men can't do everything women can do either. Physically, we're so different i don't know where to begin. Men are given more upper body strength, and more muscle than fat. Women are given less. That's the way nature is. Don't blame me. But there are of course, the extremes. There is the body builder woman who has 0% body fat, and is ALL muscle, and there is the tiny puny man who can't even open a jar of pickles.
We're all designed for different things, because we're ALL DIFFERENT. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR LESBIAN HAIR-CUTTED HEADS YOU FEMINIST IDIOTS! i don't give a shit how many pant suits you own, how short you cut your hair, or how much you can bench press, you still have a fucking uterus, you still bleed once a month, and you still can give birth. MEN CAN'T. That ALONE is enough of a massive difference to put this to rest.
but i am getting off track here. My main point is the hypocrisy of it all. If you want to be an advocate for anti-sexism and pro-feminism, then go to town. But you had better keep your god damn mouth shut and your finger off that send button when you think a joke about a man is funny. One second you're saying we're equal, and the next you're pointing out all the "flaws" in the opposite sex that makes you think you're better? Wait a moment here...that doesn't sound right at all....
You can't preach about one thing while going against it at the same time...(unless you're a catholic or a christian, then it's a way of life...oooh burn). Bottom line, we're all different in a million ways, but we're all still capable of the same things. Women CAN do jobs that men do, but some jobs are just better suited for a man to accomplish...the SAME goes the other way. men CAN do jobs that women do, but there are some jobs that women are just better suited for...it's common sense people, just live with it.
That all being said, i would just like to point out that not all men are the pieces of useless shit we see on television. We aren't all as ridiculousy fucking pathetic as ray romano, or as muscle headed and alpha male as tim allen. We don't all play golf, and we don't all sit on the fucking couch and watch sports every chance we get. We don't all want a brown leather lazy boy chair, and we don't all begin to drool at the sight of a breast on tv. We're not all idiots when it comes to laundry or dishes, we don't all pawn off our children so we can sneak out to the strip club, and we don't all even like strip clubs to begin with! SOME of us are actually useful, helpful and courteous gentlemen who look at our, and all women with respect.
Women get so pissed off when men generalize, but they do the exact same thing to us, and i am completely tired of it. So, those of you women who think you're just as equal as men, and are too stubborn to realize the vast reality of it all, just do me a favour. It's a small little step on your way to opening your eyes. If you're married, living with a man, or even have a male roomate, this applies to you....
When you walk into the washroom, if the seat is left up, i would like you to close your mouth, and keep it closed, walk to the toilet and PUT THE FUCKING THING DOWN YOURSELF. Because after all, If the man puts it down for you, he's implying that you aren't capable of doing it yourself...and we wouldn't want that now would we.
Every day I come to work, and read my emails, and there's always at least one email containing a joke about a man, obviously sent by a woman. on some days there are many more than one email, all degrading to men in some way, as lighthearted as they may seem to be. Usually at the end of them, the email ends with something like this: "Forward this to any women you know who could use a good laugh, and any men you think are man enough to handle the truth!!". Which i can honestly say i find ridiculous. I know that if i were to sit here and send out riddles of emails containing degrading jokes about women, someone, if not many people would climb up my ass about it, because i'm being sexist. Yet, it's ok for women to do the same thing, and people think it's fine?
I will be the first to say that i am not like the stereotypical man. 90% of the bullshit in these emails don't even apply to me, yet i am bunched into the category of "Pig" because i am a man. It's bullshit, and i've had pretty much enough of it. For the most part, the days of the Alpha Male and the feeble female are pretty much overwith (unless you live in a third world country...or Alabama). It's not 1952 anymore, and a lot of things have changed. Is there still sexism? Absolutely. There always will be. Just like there will always be racism, predjudice, and there will always be that guy who looks like a girl, and you will spend hours just trying to figure out what the hell is going on with their hair.
I am a man, and i was raised in the 80s, 90s and 00s, and was raised in a household where my mom was strong and driven, and was more than equal with my father, working as much, making her own money, and being her own personality. Not once was it expected that she should be making the food or cleaning the house. She was not expected to do anything that was deemed "woman's work" by the generations before us, she simply did them on her own free will. So by a very young age, i learned that there really was no dividing line between men and women, other than their very obvious physical differences.
Yet, here we are, year 2009, and i am noticing more and more that there are these emails circling about men and their stupidity, and filthiness, and overall lack of humanity. Apparently us men are Stubborn, egotistical, self centered and bull headed beyond belief...wait...i think i just described...feminists...
See, my generation of men is fucked. Why? because for the most part, we were raised with the ideals that we should be providors, protectors and warriors for our women. We have been trained through years of television shows, movies, and have been taught by our own mothers and fathers that chivalry should still live on in our generation. We should stand up when a lady comes to the table. We should open any and every door possible and always offer our jacket even if it means we get frostbite. We should always offer to get the bill for dinner, have a light ready if they smoke, and always be clean shaven and proper...so here we are, an army of 20-something men, ready to don our shining armor and find our princess, only to be slain down by the mighty Feminism dragon....
See, feminists are on this kick where women are equal to men in EVERY aspect of life (which, scientifically can be disproven faster than it takes a pregnancy test to examine your piss), and they will be the first people to tell us men that all these acts of chivalry we think we're displaying with respect, are really just sexism in disguise!! WHAT!!? Apparently, if we hold open a door for a lady, we're IMPLYING that she is too weak to open it herself. If we attempt to pay for dinner, we're IMPLYING that they don't have enough money to pay for it themselves. If we walk them to the door after a date, we're either IMPLYING that they can't walk themselves to the door, or we're PIGS because we think we're going to bed with them.
It's ridiculous. Somewhere down the line, all these classic romantic and classy things a gentleman is supposed to do for a lady have become huge downfalls? According to feminists they are. Now, of course i am speaking in generalities here. For the most part, any woman i have encountered, even complete strangers, have been gracious if i have gotten a door for them, etc....i am talking about the select few (and by few, i mean millions) of women who think they literally ARE equal to men in every way.
I have news for you ladies, YOU'RE NOT EQUAL TO MEN IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. and guess what? MEN AREN'T EQUAL TO WOMEN EITHER, you fucking morons. We're TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT GENDERS. It's not even sane to think that we're all equal in every way. Not even all men are equal to other men for fuck's sakes....pull your heads out of your wannabe penises, and listen up!
on a mental and intelligence level, yes, we are equal! we all have human brains capable of many things. Does this mean that all women can do everything men can do? NO. but this also means that men can't do everything women can do either. Physically, we're so different i don't know where to begin. Men are given more upper body strength, and more muscle than fat. Women are given less. That's the way nature is. Don't blame me. But there are of course, the extremes. There is the body builder woman who has 0% body fat, and is ALL muscle, and there is the tiny puny man who can't even open a jar of pickles.
We're all designed for different things, because we're ALL DIFFERENT. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR LESBIAN HAIR-CUTTED HEADS YOU FEMINIST IDIOTS! i don't give a shit how many pant suits you own, how short you cut your hair, or how much you can bench press, you still have a fucking uterus, you still bleed once a month, and you still can give birth. MEN CAN'T. That ALONE is enough of a massive difference to put this to rest.
but i am getting off track here. My main point is the hypocrisy of it all. If you want to be an advocate for anti-sexism and pro-feminism, then go to town. But you had better keep your god damn mouth shut and your finger off that send button when you think a joke about a man is funny. One second you're saying we're equal, and the next you're pointing out all the "flaws" in the opposite sex that makes you think you're better? Wait a moment here...that doesn't sound right at all....
You can't preach about one thing while going against it at the same time...(unless you're a catholic or a christian, then it's a way of life...oooh burn). Bottom line, we're all different in a million ways, but we're all still capable of the same things. Women CAN do jobs that men do, but some jobs are just better suited for a man to accomplish...the SAME goes the other way. men CAN do jobs that women do, but there are some jobs that women are just better suited for...it's common sense people, just live with it.
That all being said, i would just like to point out that not all men are the pieces of useless shit we see on television. We aren't all as ridiculousy fucking pathetic as ray romano, or as muscle headed and alpha male as tim allen. We don't all play golf, and we don't all sit on the fucking couch and watch sports every chance we get. We don't all want a brown leather lazy boy chair, and we don't all begin to drool at the sight of a breast on tv. We're not all idiots when it comes to laundry or dishes, we don't all pawn off our children so we can sneak out to the strip club, and we don't all even like strip clubs to begin with! SOME of us are actually useful, helpful and courteous gentlemen who look at our, and all women with respect.
Women get so pissed off when men generalize, but they do the exact same thing to us, and i am completely tired of it. So, those of you women who think you're just as equal as men, and are too stubborn to realize the vast reality of it all, just do me a favour. It's a small little step on your way to opening your eyes. If you're married, living with a man, or even have a male roomate, this applies to you....
When you walk into the washroom, if the seat is left up, i would like you to close your mouth, and keep it closed, walk to the toilet and PUT THE FUCKING THING DOWN YOURSELF. Because after all, If the man puts it down for you, he's implying that you aren't capable of doing it yourself...and we wouldn't want that now would we.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
are you KIDDING me?!!
Ok. I have spent enough time in my life around music, playing music, performing music and writing music to know a horrible band when i see one, and unfortunately, hear one. Basically, bands eventually all boil down to 2 categories: Original bands, and Cover bands. For those of you who don't know the difference, here:
Original bands - Write, create and perform their own original music, and work to build a fan base and reputation, and eventually attempt to make it in the music world.
Cover bands - bands that solely perform songs that have already been made famous by other artists. These bands generally play what is known as the "bar circuit" and are largely the source of live entertainment you will find in bars on any given night.
Now, there is NOTHING wrong with being in either of the above bands. And a lot of times, you will have original bands putting a cover song into their set, which many famous bands do, and you will have cover bands putting an original song or 2 into their sets, which is how a lot of very beginner original bands start to get their music known. I personally am in both an original band, and also in a cover band, and have had great success with both. However, i am also someone that understands the VAST difference between the 2 bands...
and i do mean VAST.
See, once original bands begin to climb the ladder and gain more high profile shows and events, they begin to get known, people begin to ask for their autographs, and the whole "stardom" thing begins to happen. People begin to look at them differently, their music begins to be known, and their band name begins to become more of a household name than it used to be. Eventually, if all goes according to plan, the band eventually "makes it" and , for lack of a better term, become "rock stars". Once this occurs, they are looked at differently than before, since they are famous on a national, international and sometimes global level...
Cover bands are completely different. Once a cover band begins to gain recognition and exposure, and begins to "make it" in the local scene...well, they simply play more frequently, maybe raise their payment, and continue to play in the same city, on the bar circuit for however long they choose to continue. They begin to be well known locally, amassing a fan base, and becoming high draws for certain bars, and become somewhat in demand. Since each cover band, more or less plays the same music, with the same songs and such, they are given the task of somewhat setting themselves apart from the bunch, and giving themselves something different than other bands offer. Some bands choose to play acoustic, some full band, some with lighting rigs, some with video screens...they all have something that sets them apart.
Now, as i mentioned above, each type of band has it's strengths, and each is different. Neither is better or worse, it all comes down to personal preference, taste and talents...
But the part that i'm blogging about today, is when people cannot determine the differences between the two bands. I am speaking very specifically about...
COVER BANDS THAT THINK THEY ARE ROCKSTARS.
Ok... so you're in a cover band. Congratu-fucking-lations. You play the bar scene, get some free drinks, get a few hundred bucks in cash, and get to tell people "i'm in a band". Awesome, well done. BUT. if you can't realize, admit, or deal with the fact that you're ONLY IN A COVER BAND, then there is a problem. Here's the deal. You play other peoples' music. You are subjected to play top 40 and classic rock hits night after night, because that's what people like to dance to. As long as you can make peace with that, then more power to you. But if you are in a cover band, and think you're a fucking rock star, please end your life.
YOU'RE NOT A ROCK STAR. you're playing in a god damn bar. You're playing for $300 and some free beer. You pack your own gear. You drive your own vehicle, and guess what, it's not a tour bus. You don't have a record deal, or stylists or a publicist. you don't have a tour manager, or a manager in general. Your "groupies" are just wasted cougars who like you because you played Neil Diamond for them. They didn't even know who you were, they didn't come to see you, they just wanted some Labatt 50, and some eye candy...get it? You're in a fucking cover band.
What is it about some cover bands that make them think they're U2? they walk in all high and mighty like everyone is in awe of their presence, think they should be given anything and everything for free, act like they're gods of music, and then when they are finally done setting up their ridiculous amount of equipment, they start playing, and they FUCKING SUCK!!
Case in point, the band "THE SELLOUTS". They played last night at the Whiskey, and i have rarely wanted to assassinate myself more than while hearing them play. They were almost the stereotypical douchebag cover band...they were like posterboys for Cover bands who think they are rock stars. These guys brought roadies, (for those of you who don't know, roadies are friends of the band who come to shows to help load and unload gear, also known as crew), who sat at the bar for the majority of the night, not even watching the band perform, they brought their women, and that was it. NO one actually came in to see them. They had 2 mixing boards, which took up ridiculous amounts of room, they decided that the Bar's speaker system wasn't good enough, so they brought their own, they had dual lighting trusses, (obviously programmed for the always cliché blinking primary colours), and they were dressed to the nines in typical "middle-aged-dude-trying-to-be-cool" clothing, including the backwards hats (which always scream douche-baggery when worn while on stage...even more so if you're 40), short sleeve button downs, and cargo shorts. These guys literally SCREAMED "we're complete douchebags!". They started performing, and i swear, these guys thought they were rock stars. The singer (the term 'singer', i'm using loosely...i will get to that in a bit) began hitting on the waitress immediately, saying things like "tattoo girl, i think i love you" and "can't wait for the afterparty!" into the microphone, while the guitarist, who was wearing a tuke in 70 degree weather, took on his guitar hero stance for every solo.
They opened up with tragically hip. Not bad, but not good. The one thing GOOD i can say about these guys was that they weren't loud. They were the perfect volume, with the exception of the singer...who was WAY too loud....maybe he wasn't too loud, his volume was just more noticeable since he WAS FUCKING HORRIBLE. This guy opened his mouth, and i swear every person in the bar just kind of stopped to register what the awful noise was they were hearing. He wasn't AS bad on lower songs, but as soon as the notes went a tiny step up, his voice just hit this retarded pitch where it was almost a whiny-nasal shout rather than a note. His voice had nothing to it. It wasn't clean and pretty, it wasn't rough and raspy, he didn't have any sort of growl, he had no trademark in his voice at all, it was just very flat, yet shrill whining. AND HE THOUGHT HE WAS THE SHIT. seriously, this dude thought he was BON FUCKING JOVI....people were actually excited when they took breaks.
but the best part...the absolute BEST part about this band...was their ALL ACCESS PASSES. yes, you heard me correct. This COVER BAND creates their own ALL ACCESS PASSES when they play bar gigs. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? For those readers that are unaware what all access passes are, they are small laminated passes, usually worn on a lanyard, either around your neck or looped through your belt loops so it remains visible. These are STANDARD for CONCERTS. These basically give the holder ALL ACCESS to backstage areas, dressing rooms, interviews, etc, and are usually only worn by the bands, the crew, and whatever guests, friends, contest winners, etc have them. These are the norm in BIG CONCERTS and arenas, stadiums, halls, etc where you normally see big name, signed, touring bands. NOT at the fucking Whiskey, for a band that is a COVER band. Seriously? All Access passes? The band had theirs on, and their "crew" were wearing theirs proudly...like, All Access to what!? The staff washroom? The patio? like...there really aren't too many places that are restricted at the bar here people...let's get serious...like i'm going to be like "Umm excuse me sir, you're not allowed behind the bar to get your own beer...oh wait, you have an all access pass? Ok go right ahead.."
I would love to know the thought process that goes through their minds... "hey we need All Access passes dude...cuz then we'll look like a REAL band!!" the absolute funniest part was that on the passes, was a picture of the band with their former drummer who isn't even in the band anymore, the band name "The Sellouts" (ironic isn't it?) and then below the band name, is the BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ...are you ready for this:
"The greatest party rock band in recorded history is APPEARING HERE!" wait...wait...
what? The greatest party rock band in RECORDED HISTORY!? So you're telling me, since the beginning of history, all over the world, the millions and millions of bands that have existed, YOU are the BEST party rock band EVER!? and for the record, what the FUCK is a PARTY ROCK BAND? is that just a better way of saying you're a cover band? You know you hate your life when you won't even call yourself what you really are, you try to find a way of making it sound less pathetic than you really are...Kind of like how our striking city workers aren't actually garbage men, they're "waste management technicians"...it's all the same pile of shit.
The band was a complete joke, and a PERFECT example of a cover band thinking they're rock stars. These guys were SO horrible, and it almost seemed as if they really thought that they were the biggest musicians on the planet...it was hilarious, and i was almost a bit sad for them...
I am going to make an All Access pass for life. Seriously. I am going to wear it everywhere and just walk into places i don't belong and see what happens.
I'll keep you posted.
out.
PS - the Sellouts are NOT the greatest party band in recorded history. They are quite potentially the greatest douchebags in recorded history.
Original bands - Write, create and perform their own original music, and work to build a fan base and reputation, and eventually attempt to make it in the music world.
Cover bands - bands that solely perform songs that have already been made famous by other artists. These bands generally play what is known as the "bar circuit" and are largely the source of live entertainment you will find in bars on any given night.
Now, there is NOTHING wrong with being in either of the above bands. And a lot of times, you will have original bands putting a cover song into their set, which many famous bands do, and you will have cover bands putting an original song or 2 into their sets, which is how a lot of very beginner original bands start to get their music known. I personally am in both an original band, and also in a cover band, and have had great success with both. However, i am also someone that understands the VAST difference between the 2 bands...
and i do mean VAST.
See, once original bands begin to climb the ladder and gain more high profile shows and events, they begin to get known, people begin to ask for their autographs, and the whole "stardom" thing begins to happen. People begin to look at them differently, their music begins to be known, and their band name begins to become more of a household name than it used to be. Eventually, if all goes according to plan, the band eventually "makes it" and , for lack of a better term, become "rock stars". Once this occurs, they are looked at differently than before, since they are famous on a national, international and sometimes global level...
Cover bands are completely different. Once a cover band begins to gain recognition and exposure, and begins to "make it" in the local scene...well, they simply play more frequently, maybe raise their payment, and continue to play in the same city, on the bar circuit for however long they choose to continue. They begin to be well known locally, amassing a fan base, and becoming high draws for certain bars, and become somewhat in demand. Since each cover band, more or less plays the same music, with the same songs and such, they are given the task of somewhat setting themselves apart from the bunch, and giving themselves something different than other bands offer. Some bands choose to play acoustic, some full band, some with lighting rigs, some with video screens...they all have something that sets them apart.
Now, as i mentioned above, each type of band has it's strengths, and each is different. Neither is better or worse, it all comes down to personal preference, taste and talents...
But the part that i'm blogging about today, is when people cannot determine the differences between the two bands. I am speaking very specifically about...
COVER BANDS THAT THINK THEY ARE ROCKSTARS.
Ok... so you're in a cover band. Congratu-fucking-lations. You play the bar scene, get some free drinks, get a few hundred bucks in cash, and get to tell people "i'm in a band". Awesome, well done. BUT. if you can't realize, admit, or deal with the fact that you're ONLY IN A COVER BAND, then there is a problem. Here's the deal. You play other peoples' music. You are subjected to play top 40 and classic rock hits night after night, because that's what people like to dance to. As long as you can make peace with that, then more power to you. But if you are in a cover band, and think you're a fucking rock star, please end your life.
YOU'RE NOT A ROCK STAR. you're playing in a god damn bar. You're playing for $300 and some free beer. You pack your own gear. You drive your own vehicle, and guess what, it's not a tour bus. You don't have a record deal, or stylists or a publicist. you don't have a tour manager, or a manager in general. Your "groupies" are just wasted cougars who like you because you played Neil Diamond for them. They didn't even know who you were, they didn't come to see you, they just wanted some Labatt 50, and some eye candy...get it? You're in a fucking cover band.
What is it about some cover bands that make them think they're U2? they walk in all high and mighty like everyone is in awe of their presence, think they should be given anything and everything for free, act like they're gods of music, and then when they are finally done setting up their ridiculous amount of equipment, they start playing, and they FUCKING SUCK!!
Case in point, the band "THE SELLOUTS". They played last night at the Whiskey, and i have rarely wanted to assassinate myself more than while hearing them play. They were almost the stereotypical douchebag cover band...they were like posterboys for Cover bands who think they are rock stars. These guys brought roadies, (for those of you who don't know, roadies are friends of the band who come to shows to help load and unload gear, also known as crew), who sat at the bar for the majority of the night, not even watching the band perform, they brought their women, and that was it. NO one actually came in to see them. They had 2 mixing boards, which took up ridiculous amounts of room, they decided that the Bar's speaker system wasn't good enough, so they brought their own, they had dual lighting trusses, (obviously programmed for the always cliché blinking primary colours), and they were dressed to the nines in typical "middle-aged-dude-trying-to-be-cool" clothing, including the backwards hats (which always scream douche-baggery when worn while on stage...even more so if you're 40), short sleeve button downs, and cargo shorts. These guys literally SCREAMED "we're complete douchebags!". They started performing, and i swear, these guys thought they were rock stars. The singer (the term 'singer', i'm using loosely...i will get to that in a bit) began hitting on the waitress immediately, saying things like "tattoo girl, i think i love you" and "can't wait for the afterparty!" into the microphone, while the guitarist, who was wearing a tuke in 70 degree weather, took on his guitar hero stance for every solo.
They opened up with tragically hip. Not bad, but not good. The one thing GOOD i can say about these guys was that they weren't loud. They were the perfect volume, with the exception of the singer...who was WAY too loud....maybe he wasn't too loud, his volume was just more noticeable since he WAS FUCKING HORRIBLE. This guy opened his mouth, and i swear every person in the bar just kind of stopped to register what the awful noise was they were hearing. He wasn't AS bad on lower songs, but as soon as the notes went a tiny step up, his voice just hit this retarded pitch where it was almost a whiny-nasal shout rather than a note. His voice had nothing to it. It wasn't clean and pretty, it wasn't rough and raspy, he didn't have any sort of growl, he had no trademark in his voice at all, it was just very flat, yet shrill whining. AND HE THOUGHT HE WAS THE SHIT. seriously, this dude thought he was BON FUCKING JOVI....people were actually excited when they took breaks.
but the best part...the absolute BEST part about this band...was their ALL ACCESS PASSES. yes, you heard me correct. This COVER BAND creates their own ALL ACCESS PASSES when they play bar gigs. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? For those readers that are unaware what all access passes are, they are small laminated passes, usually worn on a lanyard, either around your neck or looped through your belt loops so it remains visible. These are STANDARD for CONCERTS. These basically give the holder ALL ACCESS to backstage areas, dressing rooms, interviews, etc, and are usually only worn by the bands, the crew, and whatever guests, friends, contest winners, etc have them. These are the norm in BIG CONCERTS and arenas, stadiums, halls, etc where you normally see big name, signed, touring bands. NOT at the fucking Whiskey, for a band that is a COVER band. Seriously? All Access passes? The band had theirs on, and their "crew" were wearing theirs proudly...like, All Access to what!? The staff washroom? The patio? like...there really aren't too many places that are restricted at the bar here people...let's get serious...like i'm going to be like "Umm excuse me sir, you're not allowed behind the bar to get your own beer...oh wait, you have an all access pass? Ok go right ahead.."
I would love to know the thought process that goes through their minds... "hey we need All Access passes dude...cuz then we'll look like a REAL band!!" the absolute funniest part was that on the passes, was a picture of the band with their former drummer who isn't even in the band anymore, the band name "The Sellouts" (ironic isn't it?) and then below the band name, is the BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ...are you ready for this:
"The greatest party rock band in recorded history is APPEARING HERE!" wait...wait...
what? The greatest party rock band in RECORDED HISTORY!? So you're telling me, since the beginning of history, all over the world, the millions and millions of bands that have existed, YOU are the BEST party rock band EVER!? and for the record, what the FUCK is a PARTY ROCK BAND? is that just a better way of saying you're a cover band? You know you hate your life when you won't even call yourself what you really are, you try to find a way of making it sound less pathetic than you really are...Kind of like how our striking city workers aren't actually garbage men, they're "waste management technicians"...it's all the same pile of shit.
The band was a complete joke, and a PERFECT example of a cover band thinking they're rock stars. These guys were SO horrible, and it almost seemed as if they really thought that they were the biggest musicians on the planet...it was hilarious, and i was almost a bit sad for them...
I am going to make an All Access pass for life. Seriously. I am going to wear it everywhere and just walk into places i don't belong and see what happens.
I'll keep you posted.
out.
PS - the Sellouts are NOT the greatest party band in recorded history. They are quite potentially the greatest douchebags in recorded history.
Friday, June 5, 2009
SPELL IT OUT
Ok guys, here's the deal. I'm not going to beat around the bush anymore. We all have pet peeves, right? Of course we do. There is something, or a few things that bug the piss out of each of us...well mine just happens to be blatantly improper spelling and grammar. IT'S NOT THAT HARD PEOPLE! if you are past grade 5, then you should know how to spell! It's only a MAJOR part of life! Now, i'm not talking about putting a comma in the wrong spot, or typing so fast you miss a letter, that's an obvious physical error, not a mental one. But seriously, if you made it past grade school, somehow made it through high school, are in college, or are 45 years old and have a family, there is NO reason why you can't figure out that just because a word ends with the letter 'S', doesn't mean it needs a fucking apostrophe! I can't begin to express how frustrating it is when i see people use apostrophes where they don't belong...it seriously makes me want to take the person responsible and bludgeon them with my keyboard.
Case in point; Alibi's sports bar on the corner of Howard and #3 in windsor....the sign (which is horrifically designed might i add), says "Alibi's SPORT'S bar". Sport's? Seriously?! since when is there a god damn apostrophe in Sports?! It looks ridiculous, and you think that someone, ANYONE would have noticed it and said "Umm, hey....did a 3rd grader do that?" The BEST part though, is there's like 3 signs, all the same....So NOWHERE down the line, from the owner of the bar, to the designer of the sign, to the sign maker, to the guys INSTALLING the sign, did ANYONE proof read this thing! It passed through at least 3 sets of hands, and NO ONE bothered to say "Hmmmm, this looks fuckin weird". Seriously!! HOW DOES A PERSON SURVIVE IN LIFE WITHOUT HAVING BASIC FUCKING GRAMMAR SKILLS!!?
I can't begin to explain my frustration with this phenomenon. It kills me. Everywhere i look, is complete improper spelling. I blame the teachers. Seriously. I blame teachers in elementary school who are either too stupid or too lazy to correct a child when they make a mistake. I also blame the teachers in high school....i remember them vividly, the ones who would make us do reading out loud, but when a kid would stutter on a word, they wouldn't lift a god damn finger to help them....so the kid would be reading a word like, say, 'proposition', and instead he would say "preportion", and the teacher wouldn't correct him. This wasn't an isolated incident, ALL the teachers did it....So now you've got a kid who, A- can't even fucking read at the age of 18 (way to go grade school, he totally deserved that diploma), and B - now thinks that 'preportion' is a real word, and will most likely attempt to use it in a sentence later in life...ie/ "Bill i have a preportion for you, that you can't turn down"....Needless to say, this guy will most likely end up at Burger King.
Here's the deal. If you have a real, documented, legitimate mental issue, then by all means, spell any way you want. Fuck, wear a helmet and dip your oreos in tuna for all i care, more power to you. But if you just were too lazy, or too careless to learn how to properly spell even the most basic of words, then you deserve the ridicule you will get in life. Guys, they have Spell Checker on computers now, they have grammar checkers...there is software that lets you speak into your computer and it types for you...there is no excuse why you can't stumble your way through a sentence without making a completely stupid mistake.
For those of you who need a hands on guide to the 'really hard' areas of spealling, here you go:
there, their, they're - THESE ARE ALL DIFFERENT WORDS, WITH DIFFERENT MEANINGS. FUCKING LEARN WHICH ONE IS WHICH ALREADY!
your, you're - these also mean 2 different things. YOU'RE means YOU ARE. it's just a shorter form of it....YOUR refers to posession. As in 'YOUR BALL' not 'YOUR STUPID'. get it?
know, no - if i have to explain this to you, you're dumber than i thought.
Through, threw - please stop telling people you through out your arm. It's the wrong word, assface.
Bottom line guys, it's not that hard. In the vast internet-based world we live in, information is literally seconds away. There is NO reason why you should be making blatant and horrible spelling mistakes, unless you seriously like looking like an idiot, seriously don't give a shit, or seriously have a mental illness. (depression doesn't count, sorry emo kids).
out
Case in point; Alibi's sports bar on the corner of Howard and #3 in windsor....the sign (which is horrifically designed might i add), says "Alibi's SPORT'S bar". Sport's? Seriously?! since when is there a god damn apostrophe in Sports?! It looks ridiculous, and you think that someone, ANYONE would have noticed it and said "Umm, hey....did a 3rd grader do that?" The BEST part though, is there's like 3 signs, all the same....So NOWHERE down the line, from the owner of the bar, to the designer of the sign, to the sign maker, to the guys INSTALLING the sign, did ANYONE proof read this thing! It passed through at least 3 sets of hands, and NO ONE bothered to say "Hmmmm, this looks fuckin weird". Seriously!! HOW DOES A PERSON SURVIVE IN LIFE WITHOUT HAVING BASIC FUCKING GRAMMAR SKILLS!!?
I can't begin to explain my frustration with this phenomenon. It kills me. Everywhere i look, is complete improper spelling. I blame the teachers. Seriously. I blame teachers in elementary school who are either too stupid or too lazy to correct a child when they make a mistake. I also blame the teachers in high school....i remember them vividly, the ones who would make us do reading out loud, but when a kid would stutter on a word, they wouldn't lift a god damn finger to help them....so the kid would be reading a word like, say, 'proposition', and instead he would say "preportion", and the teacher wouldn't correct him. This wasn't an isolated incident, ALL the teachers did it....So now you've got a kid who, A- can't even fucking read at the age of 18 (way to go grade school, he totally deserved that diploma), and B - now thinks that 'preportion' is a real word, and will most likely attempt to use it in a sentence later in life...ie/ "Bill i have a preportion for you, that you can't turn down"....Needless to say, this guy will most likely end up at Burger King.
Here's the deal. If you have a real, documented, legitimate mental issue, then by all means, spell any way you want. Fuck, wear a helmet and dip your oreos in tuna for all i care, more power to you. But if you just were too lazy, or too careless to learn how to properly spell even the most basic of words, then you deserve the ridicule you will get in life. Guys, they have Spell Checker on computers now, they have grammar checkers...there is software that lets you speak into your computer and it types for you...there is no excuse why you can't stumble your way through a sentence without making a completely stupid mistake.
For those of you who need a hands on guide to the 'really hard' areas of spealling, here you go:
there, their, they're - THESE ARE ALL DIFFERENT WORDS, WITH DIFFERENT MEANINGS. FUCKING LEARN WHICH ONE IS WHICH ALREADY!
your, you're - these also mean 2 different things. YOU'RE means YOU ARE. it's just a shorter form of it....YOUR refers to posession. As in 'YOUR BALL' not 'YOUR STUPID'. get it?
know, no - if i have to explain this to you, you're dumber than i thought.
Through, threw - please stop telling people you through out your arm. It's the wrong word, assface.
Bottom line guys, it's not that hard. In the vast internet-based world we live in, information is literally seconds away. There is NO reason why you should be making blatant and horrible spelling mistakes, unless you seriously like looking like an idiot, seriously don't give a shit, or seriously have a mental illness. (depression doesn't count, sorry emo kids).
out
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)