Something to note.

The other day, I walked into the LCBO, and purchased a bottle of White Zinfandel. For those of you who don't know what it is, it's a very fruity light wine with a pink colour. Not my first choice of course, but i can't lie, it's delicious, and goes really well with a nice summer bbq. So per my girlfriend's request, i picked up a bottle for us, and brought it to the register. Now in the back of of my mind, i half expected someone to make a comment about a heavily tattooed dude buying a bottle of Zinfandel...But i didn't expect to have my balls busted by a complete douchebag of a cashier.

I bring the bottle up, and he says "oooh, pink wine eh? niiiiice"
to which i laughed a bit and said "Yeah, per my lady's request"...
And he laughed at me and said "Suuuuuure it is. it's ok man, i think it's hilarious when a guy buys pink wine"
So i chuckled a bit, and said "yeah, i know...it's really actually very good though"
To which he continued to laugh, and then he busts out this gem, which officially crosses the line...he says "Yeah, i bet it's good. How does your boyfriend like it?"...

Now those of you that know me know that i am a very secure dude, and comfortable with my sexuality, so gay jokes don't usually offend me too much (especially since i've heard them my entire life) but this just was one step too far...he took it from a casual sarcastic sparring match between 2 strangers, and turned it into an all out asshole title match...
So he laughed and i said "excuse me?" as the tone of my voice took a very noticeable turn for the worse. I took my sunglasses off, and raised my voice a little bit and said "That's really not funny", to which this douchebag replied "sorry man, i just think it's really funny when guys drink pink wine"....

So i laughed with him, and replied, very to the point with "Yeah, it's almost as funny as being a fucking cashier in a liquor store for a living. " He kinda stopped, and shut up for a second, so i continued.. "seriously dude, You ring in other peoples' purchases for a living, and you think you have the right to talk shit about someone you don't even know? You're a fucking CASHIER"....i said this loud enough for the other customers to hear, and he was obviously very shocked that i fought back, so all he said was.."ummm, do you have air miles?" to which i said "No, just ring my shit in like the bitch you are." he rang it in, and i paid for it. As i walked out, he said "Dude, i'm sorry" in a very loud voice...to which i waved my hand to as i walked out...

What's the point of this story? It raised a few questions that i want to voice.

1 - What in the world makes people think they can talk like that to other people in the first place? i mean, it's one thing if you're busting your friend's chops or something, but this dude didn't even know me...we have no history, we don't know each other...what gives him the right to say shit like that? You can tell he thinks he's funny, and i can guarantee i'm not the first person he's done this to. Just by looking at the douche, i could tell he most likely goes home at night, talks to his electronic girlfriend before diving into a 12 hour World of Warcraft session, and ends the night vigourously masturbating to japanese manga cartoons.

Now, not that i have ANYTHING against ANYONE who works as a cashier, but seriously, before you open your mouth, you should maybe realize you're wearing a fucking apron, and the majority of your job consists of ringing other peoples' items in, so they can get on with their lives, while you stand behind your counter contemplating suicide. The only perk of your life is when you can talk on the phone that broadcasts across the store while asking for Bill to come to cash because you need fucking backup.

2 - What determines a "manly" and "un-manly" drink? I mean, yes the wine was pink. It had a feminine name like "Zinfandel", but why does that mean i can't drink it? I mean, because i am a man, does that mean i am confined to the dark corners of the beer section, only allowed to drink my beverages from dar brown bottles? Is that the "Manly" thing to do? Somewhere down the line, it became "un-manly" to drink anything that was any other colour than brown. If you're not gonna drink beer, it had better be rye, and if you DO mix it, it BETTER be coke, otherwise you're a fag. Seriously, like where did this come from. You walk into the LCBO on a friday night in the summer, and almost every guy in there is swarming to the beer section, grabbing Coors Light, or Blue light or whatever piss they drink. (you can tell immediately they're douchebags by their clothing, but that's a whole different post). The funniest part of it all, is if I order a martini, or a vodka cran, or something along those lines, guys will look at me as if i'm some sort of princess...they don't take into account that one martini is PURE alcohol, and much more potent than their brown bottle of what this country likes to call "beer"...they don't care. to them, i'm a fag because my drink is pink. Nevermind that my tolerance is very high, and while they're trying to drunkenly slobber their way into a hood-rat's panties, i'm still sitting pretty, pink drink in hand, holding my own. They don't care. To "men" you better be drinking beer, or you're a fag.

Would it help if i drank my vodka-cranberry out of a fucking jagged, rusty, metal cup? Or how about if i started firing off a shotgun while i was doing it? Would it work better if i wore a baseball cap with a dress shirt? (the douchebag's uniform)... bottom line, alcohol is alcohol. whether you choose to drink it in beer, wine, or spirit form. Whether it's brown, pink, red, purple or rainbow coloured, it's still booze, and i should be able to drink what i like. The funniest part is that it takes a REAL man to drink martinis, and all those other "un-manly" drinks....so i've made my peace with my hightened evolution over other males.

In conclusion, pink wine is delicious, cashiers shouldn't run their mouths, and You should drink your fruity drinks with the utmost pride.

out.

It has begun.

So, after thinking about it, I have decided to make this blog public....I have too much to say about too many things to keep them all to myself...So as i spent the last couple days thinking, i figured, what the hell? Why not make this blog public, and voice my views...fuck, if Perez Hilton can do it and become famous, then why the hell am I keeping my inner-most opinions inside? Sure, i know blogs can cause all sorts of drama...people won't like what i say, and then they get pissed off, and take it all personally, or they go on their blog and start a cyber war, and then all E-Hell breaks loose!!....that's not what i am trying to do here. What this blog is meant for is a healthy, constructive place for me to vent my thoughts, no matter how positive or negative they may be. I still maintain complete control of comments, etc, so if you DO have a comment, make it professional, light hearted and keep in the spirit of this thing!

I'm not here to break balls or bash skulls, i'm here because sometimes a guy just needs to vent!
Will there be foul language? Yep. Will i potentially rip apart something you may love? Yep! Will i occasionally cross into territories other people may be too frightened to touch...yep! Am I afraid of offending you? Nope. Do i care if i hurt your feelings? Nope. I'm not here to make friends.

Here's the deal. If you're adult enough to be reading a blog that gives you full warning that it will be offensive, then you should be adult enough to understand that everyone has an opinion, and are entitled to it. I am just voicing mine on a public soapbox (which you can do too, i'm not special), and please keep in mind, my sarcasm can at times (most times) be pretty harsh. So just remember it's ONLY sarcasm.

So without further ado, let's get this bitch started!